Belgavi, February 2021: A mob comprising victims of insurance non-payouts, interested citizens, people of irregular teeth, and idle yet enthusiastic college students broke into The Insurance* company’s premises and staged a protest. Having caught the security detail off-guard, the enthusiastic college students began a flash mob routine to the tune of “Mo Money Mo Problems.” They were quickly shut down by the rest of the protesters.
Upon inquiry about the structure of the “protest group”, the mob failed to produce a leader and told us that they joined together over instructions from an anonymously curated Google Doc. “We paid our health insurance premiums thinking we’ll be covered for when something goes wrong. Who do we turn to when The Insurance company also does us wrong?” asked D. Kanti (name unconfirmed).
After receiving some aid from the police department to clear the mob from the premises, the health insurance company’s PR team held a press conference to clarify the facts of the case. “There is no case,” said The Insurance* representative. “We expressly obtain signatures from our customers on documents that say we are liable for nothing and can payout at our discretion, in small print of course.” She added, “dental problems are not real problems. If they can’t eat bread, let them drink smoothies.”
The recent protests and debates among various stakeholders of the health insurance industry follows the viral spread of the story of Danesh Doot’s dismal dentistry. Unable to afford a dentist’s services, Danesh fixed his son, Megh’s broken teeth with superglue. Due to excess glue, the quackery victim found his jaws glued together and had to be fed nasally. A successful GoFundMe campaign over the last week has enabled Megh to get a dental surgery.
Meanwhile, the National Dentists’ Association held a high level meeting and released a press statement yesterday. “We cannot stand by and watch while radiology departments in big hospitals claim unreasonably big expenses and get paid by the health insurance companies, when we, dentists, take the most x-rays,” said Dr. May Svalk, chief spokesperson of the NDA. “We want health insurance policies to cover our work too. We are just as important.” The NDA has called upon the government to organise talks between the NDA and the insurance companies.
The Ministry of Health and Family Welfare has formed a Department of Dentistry (or DoD) to coordinate with and consider the pleas of the various stakeholders of the issue. The Ministry failed to respond to tweets inquiring whether dental costs would be covered under National Health Protection plans like Ayushman Bharat in the future.
*The Insurance to End All Insurances Inc. TM