New Delhi, January 2021: Sri Sri Sri Sri Amar Ji holds that Lord Ram invented the first night vision device and it is a disgrace that we have to get “modern” tech from outside India. Enunciating heavy lines from the scriptures, he expounds why modern isn’t necessarily better; says fire is still awesome.
“This government and these procurement boards are full of corrupt politicians, quixotic soldiers, and naive engineers. Do they not see that this company is selling us product (sic) that is inferior to our own? Do they do it for money, pride, and technology?”
Quoting Adi Shankaracharya’s rhetoric, Amar Ji tells us, “Who but the Atman is capable of removing the bonds of ignorance, passion, and self-interested action? Who but us can rid ourselves of the ignorant technology that these selfish companies so passionately sell us?”
Heeding to Amar Ji’s call to action, many spiritual men have come forward and volunteered to sit on government committees for defence procurement, education policy, financial planning etc. It is no false matter that these men have an exemplary record of leadership, wealth accumulation, and alternative education.
Economists and academicians are hailing this a Hail Mary. Popular science communicator and IIT Goa faculty member Dr. Samar Sardi tweeted, “We’re all going to die. #AmarNoMore”
As direct representatives of supreme beings and backed my millions of ardent followers, the men of the gods have come to describe this as a true victory of democracy. They have however declined to be corrupted by such things as income tax returns and criminal investigations. As a compromise though, they have offered discounts for purifying the offices and bureaus of such entities. There really is no end to their humility.