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Cops burn confiscated marijuana. Students stoned.

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Manipal, March 2021: In an unusual turn of events, Manipal police burned 25 kilograms of marijuana confiscated from residents of Manipal Institute of Technology’s Student Hostel C, behind the hostel. Students who had thought they got away with murder were surprised to find that they would get to relish the harvest too.

Police raids in MIT hostels has been recurrent in the past few years. There was a significant downtick in the number of raids during the lockdown, when the students had been sent home, but it failed to reach zero. Changes in mayoral and police administrations have failed to move the issue to a conclusion. It is now a well-known fact that the police department recruits 18-year-olds right out of school to be trained as informants.

The latest round of raids, conducted last week, were unusual due to the spike in rumours of collusion. Rumours have surfaced that a last minute deal was struck between the raiding cops and the local marijuana dealers. It is believed that the cops were paid cash upwards of two lakhs each to burn the confiscated contraband in the premises itself.

“(This) allows the dealers to introduce their product to new customers and ensures that the police continue to make easy money extorting twenty year old kids,” said Jatayu Hans, student secretary of Hostel C. “It’s really a win-win situation.”

Following the viral spread of Mr. Hans’ interview, the Union Home Affairs Ministry has ordered a CBI probe into the issue. The State Home Affairs Ministry has reprimanded the behaviour of the police and have promised to take recreational drug usage and enforcement against it more seriously.

A few students were interviewed in the aftermath of the burning of the marijuana behind the hostel. When asked about the detrimental effects it can have on the lungs, a red-eyed garrulous twenty-two year old answered, “I am training to be a pulmonologist. Trust me. It’s not a problem.”

Meanwhile, an MIT student was diagnosed with a concussion after being hit on the head with a hard solid non-metallic mineral matter by a stoner.

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I conduct bioinformatics research as my dayjob and continue to stare at my laptop screen writing and tinkering on side-projects the rest of the day.