Siachen, January 2021: The Grimes recently received a secret message from an informant in the Armed Forces Special Operations Division (AFSOD) of the Indian Armed Forces. It has become apparent that Major General A. K. Bera, Chief of AFSOD, has been worried sick since losing contact with the Special Forces Chameleon corps two days ago.
“They have been trained in hiding too well. We will never find them,” said a passive aggressive lieutenant of the Garden Lizard corps who wished to remain unnamed.
Shri Shri Defense Baba has booked Delhi’s Jantar Mantar tonight for performing a special Girgit Safe Return Puja. Twenty thousand people are expected to arrive; social distancing protocols will not be enforced. BlackMyShow.com too has run out of tickets. Anjaanpur MLA Chota Hero has asked people to step out of their homes and fire crackers in the street at eight o’ clock tomorrow so that the lost men can hear our support.
Barrister Sunil Prabhakar has filed a PIL against the Delhi government for allowing such frivolous and misleading events at Jantar Mantar. The Delhi government has in turn blamed the Central Government for allowing such events in their jurisdiction and threatened to go on a hunger strike in Jantar Mantar right after instead. However, they have promised to enforce social distancing in their hunger strike.
AFSOD has called upon air-force special forces Cobra Corps and navy special forces Turtle Team for the rescue mission. The Chief has informed us that the thoughts and prayers sent towards their mission using whatsapp forwards and facebook posts are sure to give them a special edge.
“We are all reptiles. We stick together,” said a reinvigorated Maj. Gen. Bera. “And we perform best in the heat of battle.”