Mumbai, July 2020: The pandemic has grounded all domestic flights for over three months now forcing the entire industry to a halt. We queried the Airport Authority of India about what they were doing to alleviate the situation for the severely depressurising airlines, and they told us off firmly: “This is how capitalism works. If you cannot sustain yourselves, you perish.” They also added that they wouldn’t be paying any more than scrapyard prices for their planes.
Meanwhile, Air Traffic Controls from 5 metro cities across India have come together to organise a multiplayer ATC simulator tournament. After spending two months relieved that their government jobs will neither terminate nor pay any lesser, they’ve now sought to busy themselves. While the AAI maintains that this is only to keep their employees ready for resumption, the crash fest during the match between the Kolkata and Chennai teams says otherwise. “Yesterday some kids from Kota broke into our servers and schooled my boss,” said Ali, a junior executive at Mumbai ATC, “it was the most impressive work I’ve ever seen. We have asked the defence staff to include ATC tournaments in this and subsequent wars with China.”
The two chefs making all the overpriced in-flight food domestically have been rehabilitated successfully. Speeding down empty roads in structurally safe vehicles delivering food is making them feel right at home. However, they did not appreciate the transition as much.
The pandemic has affected not just the industry but some of the executives’ personal lives too. Mr. Hawa, CEO of Udanchoo Airlines hasn’t been able to see his second family in Delhi ever since all his flights were grounded. “Meeting my air hostesses online just isn’t the same,” adds his rival, Mr. Hawai of Airlines India grumblingly.
^Hopefully. #Offers invalid if we declare bankruptcy